Abel’s Death and the Surprising Truth it Reveals about Life

If your life were summed up in one sentence, what would it be? A question question posed by Warren W. Wiersbe’s Life Sentences: What Sentence Will Sum Up Your Life?. In it Wiersbe Steps To Get Your Ex Back With You summarizes 63 lives from the Bible in one sentence each. Here’s his summary, and somewhat surprising reflection, on Abel:

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Abel - By faith he was commended as a righteous man. -Hebrews 11:4

The most important thing in life isn’t what we think about ourselves or what others think about us, but what God thinks about us. He is the final Judge. When He examines and evaluates our motives, words, and actions, are we commended, as was Abel, or are we condemned, as was his brother Cain? “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at,” God told the prophet Samuel. “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7).

The difference between Cain and Abel

Why did Cain murder his brother? “Because his own actions were evil and his brother’s were righteous” (1 John 3:12)… By using the plural “offerings,” Hebrews 11:4 may suggest that [God gave his approval] each time Abel came to the altar; and perhaps each time Cain noticed it, he became angrier and more resentful. What a tragedy to come to worship God and then go away filled with thoughts of murder!

Had you questioned Cain, you probably would have discovered that his theology was fairly sound. He believed in God and believed that God had created all things. He believed that God wanted to receive worship and thanksgiving. He believed that he and his brother were supposed to work and carry their share of the family burdens. But the demons believe in one God, and they aren’t saved; and when they think about God, they tremble — something Cain didn’t do (James 2:19). That’s why James added, “As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead” (James 2:26).

Dead faith is deceptive faith, but it doesn’t fool God. True saving faith makes the believer into a new creation, with a new Master, new motives, new priorities, and new desires to love God and one’s neighbor. Jesus called Abel “righteous Abel” (Matt. 23:35), and John said that Abel’s actions were righteous, so in both character and conduct, he proved to be a righteous man.

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A Prayer for When You Face Disappointment

When we face disappointment, rather than wallowing in it, we can pray, Lord, I don’t understand why all this has happened. But I do know you want me to keep walking, keep looking for you, keep remembering that it’s what I do with disappointment that matters. Help me…to surrender both my memories of the past and my hopes for the future to you.

 

-Christine Caine, Undaunted: Daring to Do what God Calls You to Do

 

More from Christine Caine on facing disappointment:

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Jesus on Religious Hypocrites: A Good Show vs. A New Heart

“If you are ever bothered by religious hypocrites,” writes John Ortberg, “if you’ve ever wanted to post a scathing blog about how they turn your stomach, you’ll have to get in line behind Jesus.” Find out why hypocrites got under Jesus’ skin, and explore the difference between good behavior and true goodness, in this excerpt from John Ortberg’s book Who Is This Man. -Adam Forrest

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What makes “a good person”?

The good person is the person whose heart — whose inner being — is bathed and pervaded by divine love. Therefore the good person is not simply one who does good things; it is someone who genuinely wants to do good things…

Jesus’ teaching about the condition of the heart was so compelling that it entered into the moral vocabulary of the human race. The word hypocrite is used seventeen times in the New Testament. Every time it is used, it is used by Jesus. I know of few other words that are so singularly his…

Contrasts between hypocrisy and genuine goodness are laced through much of Jesus’ teaching. But one entire talk, placed by Matthew a few days before Jesus’ death, is devoted to this single topic. If you are ever bothered by religious hypocrites, if you’ve ever wanted to post a scathing blog about how they turn your stomach, you’ll have to get in line behind Jesus, because I do not know of any address by any enemy of religion that is more stinging in its rebuke…

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5 Steps to Overcoming Disappointment

(This wisdom for overcoming disappointment is excerpted from Christine Caine’s Undaunted: Daring to do what God Calls You to Do.)

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God knows when we need nurture and healing, refreshment and sustenance, and he gives us that. In fact, for our journey, he gives us five important tools to sustain us and to help us provide sustenance to others.

1. Seek comfort in the church

When you’re hurting, going home is the best thing to do, and church is the believer’s spiritual home.

The first Sunday after Nick and I lost our baby, taking that pain and disappointment to church seemed so counter-intuitive. I knew that we would be surrounded by well-intentioned church friends asking, “How’s the pregnancy going? How is the baby?” I dreaded having to answer those questions. But we knew that we needed to go to the House of God.

What I remember most about that Sunday is not how awful it was to answer people’s questions about the baby and have to tell the news one more time, and again, and again, but rather how incredibly loving and warm our church family was to us. I had no idea how much I needed a loving community to share my burden. But God did. And as our church gathered ’round Nick and me in our grief, we were able to lift our eyes off our circumstances and see God’s loving kindness.

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Feel Stuck in a Hopeless Struggle? Insights from Joshua’s Prayer

Do you feel stuck in a hopeless struggle and suspect prayer won’t make a difference? I recommend these insights from the life of Joshua, courtesy of Henry Cloud and John Townsend’s NIV Life Journey Bible. -Adam Forrest

Low expectations?

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Too often we pray with low expectations. Perhaps we pray out of habit or guilt, but there are times when we don’t expect God to do anything drastic on our behalf. Perhaps we fear getting our hopes dashed, so we set low expectations for God so that he won’t fail or disappoint us.

Joshua prayed differently. He asked God to make the sun stand still so that his warriors could continue to fight in daylight.

But Joshua didn’t expect God to do all the work. He trusted God to do his part — suspend the heavenly bodies — while he did his part, which was to wield his sword and lead his soldiers tirelessly into battle. The Lord hurled hailstones on the Amorites, while the Israelites chased and fought them. Joshua didn’t passively wait for God to do everything, but he trusted God to do what God could do [see Joshua 10:1-15].

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The Most Awkward Dinner Party of All Time (And Jesus Was a Guest)

If you made a list of History’s Top 10 Best Party Guests, would Jesus make your list? You may reconsider after reading this biblical story from Who Is This Man. Author John Ortberg invites us to a dinner that’s surely the most awkward party these guests would ever attend. In the encounter we glimpse the depth of Jesus’ compassion, and discover how his “crankiness and compassion” arise from the same source. Read, enjoy, embrace the awkwardness. -Adam Forrest

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Jesus could be a very irritating person to be around. We are going to look at a dinner where he deliberately picked arguments four times running.

I say this because compassion is a quality Jesus might be most famous for. When a leper asked for healing, Jesus was “filled with compassion.” When a widow cried out to him, “his heart went out to her, and he said, ‘Don’t cry.’ ” Adulterers and tax collectors and prodigals and Samaritans all evoked his compassion. A compassion makeover was coming to the world.

There is a general perception that Jesus was one of those extremely tender feelers who just couldn’t stand pain. Elaine Aron has written a book called Highly Sensitive People about folks who startle easily, who are easily affected by others’ mood or pain, who care deeply about others’ opinions. There is nothing wrong with being a Highly Sensitive Person. I am one myself. What’s it to you?

But other parts of Jesus’ story do not make him look like an HSP. In a story told in all four Gospels, he saw people exploiting the poor in the temple; he took out a whip and drove them away, scattering their money and overturning their tables and saying, “How dare you.”

Most of us Highly Sensitive People do not throw furniture… Jesus was as militant as he was compassionate. How can this man be that man?

There was a day when he exhibited both qualities together.

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Disappointment and Two Comforting Promises from God

Where is God when tragedy strikes? Christine Caine shares two biblical truths that comforted her in the wake of a soul-crushing disappointment — a miscarriage. I recommend this excerpt from Undaunted to anyone who feels drained and discouraged by disappointments. -Adam Forrest

Stuck in disappointment

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Disappointment is a sad and terribly lonely place. We all land there at some point in life. Your children move away and never call. Colleagues betray you. The company to which you’ve devoted your years “downsizes,” and you’re on the list right along with the newcomer and the slacker. The man you love doesn’t love you back. The perfect child you dream over and tend in pregnancy is born with defects that will make the rest of your life, and all your family members’ lives, nothing less than challenging. You get a disease or suffer an injury for which there is no relief or cure. Your investments dwindle. Friends disappear. The one you’ve prayed to find Jesus never does. Your dreams shatter. Best-laid plans go astray. Other Christians fail you. People disappoint you. You even disappoint yourself.

Any one of these things can introduce sadness, discouragement, and dismay into your life; any of these things can daunt you. And the long series of disappointments you accumulate in a lifetime can stop you from moving forward into all the goodness God has planned for you — and that means they’ll be stopping not only you, but also all those God has destined you to reach along your life journey. After all, how can anyone stuck in their own disappointment help others out of theirs? How can you convince others of the wonder of God’s promises if you doubt them yourself? How can you share how God has saved you when you don’t feel saved at all?

The miscarriage

I had to resolve my own heartache if I expected to keep ministering to others in theirs.

But [this miscarriage] would be a hard one to move beyond. Why is it that you can know in your head that God has your good in mind and can redeem any and every circumstance, and yet you can still feel hugely disappointed and deeply despondent? Your head tells you God is trustworthy — but in a moment of aching disappointment, your heart tells you he’s not even there.

In my world and Nick’s, after the miscarriage, everything was not okay. If we were going to get through this without developing bitterness of spirit, we had to process our disappointment in a healthy way. We had to conclude for ourselves that the valley of death we were walking through isn’t, to borrow an image from Pilgrim’s Progress, a Slough of Despond from which we would never emerge, but simply a shadow, and that shadow would not define our lives. Christ does. And yet — this was not a job loss, or a financial reversal, or a wrecked car. This was the death of a long-awaited child, a child much-loved though I never had the chance to hold him in my arms or kiss his head or feel his breath on my face. This would be so hard to triumph over.

If I were to move beyond the daunting disappointment of this moment, I would have to remind myself of things about God that I knew to be true, though they might not feel true at the moment. There was so much I did not know, yet I was determined to cling to what I did know. I turned to the only place I could in such grief. I turned to God’s Word. Let me share with you the truths that brought me deep comfort and helped me begin to accept the disappointments that we cannot escape in life.

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4 Things Girls Should Know About Talking to Guys Online

 

This post has been adapted from an excerpt of The Whole Guy Thing: What Every Girl Needs to Know about Crushes, Friendship, Relating, and Dating, by Nancy Rue. 

Is it okay to chat with a guy online? Girls frequently confide in me that it’s so much easier for them to establish a friendship with a guy on Facebook or via e-mail or even texting. Here’s what they’ve said:

“I’ve been talking to a guy I know on Facebook for the last few nights and he’s very interesting. He’s eighteen and I’m fifteen, but I like that he actually uses intelligent-sounding words and is smart. I wouldn’t want to go out with him, but as a friend he seems cool. And yet, do I really know him?”

and:

“I usually start my friendships with guys on Facebook, like this new guy in our class. I didn’t talk to him because I’m shy around people I don’t know well. But on Facebook we talked for like an hour. It just helps to break the ice.”

Social networking can be a total blast, and it eliminates that awkward “what do I do with my arms?” and “I bet my face looks red as a beefsteak tomato right now.” If both you and a guy you’re chatting with on Facebook are being real, it can be a way to start getting to know each other. And if he lives far away, you’ve taken your friendships global.

There are benefits to online friendships, but the issue with the Internet is that it can also be used in the wrong way as well. It was created to give everybody a voice, but there are some voices you don’t need to hear.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use the social network to develop friendships. You just have to be super careful.

4 Helpful Hints:

1. If you have never actually met the guy you’re chatting with (as in, you haven’t seen each other’s real faces!)…

…don’t give away any personal or contact information. (Which means keep all of that out of your profile too.)

Let your conversations be light and focused on interests you share, rather than on your virtual feelings for each other. Not to make you paranoid, but you really don’t know who this guy is and whether anything he’s saying is the truth. Definitely do NOT agree to meet with him, and if he asks, make sure you tell an adult you trust.

2. If you have met the guy and you’re keeping in touch because he lives someplace else…

…take the same approach as if you’d never seen him in person.

Unless you know you’re going to get together again, under safe circumstances, there’s really no point in going for deep soul-sharing. Becoming emotionally involved with someone you’ve barely met is never a good idea.

3. If your text/email/Facebook guy friend is somebody you see often (church, school, sports, that kind of thing)…

…talking via the Internet can indeed help you get past the initial shyness and keep you from turning into a sweaty mess the minute he looks at you. It will be like picking up the conversation where you left it when you signed off.

4. No matter what the situation is with an Internet friend…

…remember that everything you post is potentially public.

That’s actually a good thing. It makes you think before you hit Enter: Is this something I’d want my mom and dad to see? Do I actually want the entire world to know this?

One girl sums it up beautifully:

“I used to have all these guy friends on Facebook. But then I realized it was kind of a problem for me because, like . . . I didn’t know who they truly were. They could say all this stuff about themselves and then not act like it in person. And you’ll say stuff you never would to someone’s face. People are so different on them computer than in real life — they’ ll say nasty or intimate things they would never say in person. So now I don’t do involved talking over the Internet because it has ruined a lot of friendships.”

The Whole Guy Thing by Nancy Rue
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What will that look like? That depends on your personality and his, though God does give us some basics to go on.

The most important thing to remember is that your relationships should be based on love, whether online or in the real world. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4 – 8 and see if you can envision the picture as it applies to you.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (NIV)

What Do You Think?

Do you have any advice about talking to guys on Facebook, e-mail, or texting? Is your relationship based on real love (not necessarily romantic love) and respect like 1 Corinthians suggests? Are you a parent who has experience on this topic or found this post helpful? Tell us your thoughts!

About Nancy Rue

Find Nancy Rue on FacebookNancy Rue has written over 100 books for girls, is the editor of the Faithgirlz Bible, and is a popular speaker and radio guest with her expertise in tween and teen issues. She and husband Jim have raised a daughter of their own and now live in Tennessee.

To learn more about Nancy, visit: NancyRue.com

 

(This post does not represent the views of Zondervan or any of its representatives. The writer’s personal opinions are shared only for information purposes. To receive new Zondervan Blog posts in your reader or email inbox, subscribe to Zondervan Blog.)

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On Parenting and Praying for Your Children: Bad News, Good News, and Great News

Parents: Here’s some empowering news for your parenting journey, courtesy of Mark Batterson (parent, pastor, author of The Circle Maker). This post is an excerpt of Praying Circles around Your Children, which is free to download for a limited time — find out where you can download it after the jump.

My deepest desire and greatest challenge

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I want to be famous in my home… Parenting our three children is far more difficult and far more important than pastoring thousands of people.

Just the other day, I said to Lora, “I feel like we’ll finally figure out this parenting thing the same day our kids leave home!”

The truth is, we’ll never figure it out, because children are moving targets. Just when you think you have them pegged, they become toddlers or teenagers or twenty-somethings, and you’re right back at square one. All you can do is learn a few lessons along the way and enjoy the journey. I have discovered one thing, however, that makes all the difference in the world.

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How to Be a Faithful Stumbler

When you’ve failed, what’s more natural for you — to deny your failure, or to claim it? Here Peter’s example shows the good that can come from failure. (This is an excerpt from the NIV Life Journey Bible by doctors John Townsend and Henry Cloud.) -Adam Forrest

While Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came by. When she saw Peter warming himself, she looked closely at him. “You also were with that Nazarene, Jesus,” she said. But he denied it. “I don’t know or understand what you’re talking about,” he said, and went out into the entryway.

When the servant girl saw him there, she said again to those standing around, “This fellow is one of them.” Again he denied it. After a little while, those standing near said to Peter, “Surely you are one of them, for you are a Galilean.”He began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know this man you’re talking about.” Immediately the rooster crowed the second time.

Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times.” And he broke down and wept. -Mark 14:66-72

Mistakes are not the end

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Peter had failed profoundly. Rather than stand up and publicly state his allegiance for his endangered Lord and friend, Peter denied knowing Jesus. And though this failure was significant, it was not final. Peter grew from his mistakes, and Jesus reinstated him [see John 21:15-19]. By all Biblical and historical accounts, the restored Peter was a tremendous leader in the early church.

We need to embrace failure when it occurs. People who spend their lives trying to avoid or deny failure are also eluding maturity. The Bible is full of examples of faithful stumblers who through perseverance and love of God became mature people…

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